...And so it begins

I started this blog to document the impending visit to Disneyland with my mid-sixties parents and my girlfriend. I expect it to be an "interesting" 5 days and plan to share the joy with my friends.

For those not familiar with the events that led to this "vacation" (and yes, I plan to drastically over use air quotes for dramatic effect), here is a quick "Previously on A Fat Man in Dunks" (thought I was "joking" about the air quotes, didn't you?). Last summer my parents took a trip to Hawaii. During their trip, they somehow couldn't pass up a free trip to owahu (phenotically speaking) in exchange for sitting through a time-share pitch. Damned if they didn't come away with a shiny new mortgage on a yet-to-be-built luxurious time-share, complete with "lock-off" second bedroom. Here is where I come back into the story. Upon telling me of their grand purchase and the mortgage I would inherit, my parents said that they would love to let my girlfriend and I use the property. In fact, the time share can be traded in for stays at Westin properties anywhere in the world, including the Virgin Islands, Hawaii, and Greece. Well, as time passed, the offer changed a bit, much the same way a grand snowman changes into a muddy puddle with a rotting carrot sticking out. Suddenly we were discussing a trip "together" and Hawaii or St. John became Orlando. Pain Killers served in pineapple rinds by bikini clad bartenders became Diet Coke's served with crazy Mickey ear straws served by pimply Floridians. Peaceful beaches became dashes for the FastPass machines. If this sounds a bit dramaticized, then you obviously have not spent time with my parents and don't appreciate comedic flair. As I mentioned earlier, my parents are in their mid 60's and have .314 good knees between the two of them. On our recent trip to California, the spectacle of our slow migration across the terminal prompted several airport attendants to offer them unsolicited rides on the disabled cart. Luckily, there is a steady stream of loud bickering to pass the time and distract from the dim-witted turtles mocking us as they pass. (Btw, I mock, but I do love them). Probably enough back-story, but trust me that we are a quite the road show.

T-3 days till departure....